#horrible date

[alittlelezzie]

Ooooof!!!

Date did not go well it was hella awkward and she was suuuuper quiet and a little older than she said she was by a few years.. annoying but, I had already ordered since she got there late… but anyway I get over the age thing and she is like very silent and awkward and so I start trying to ask questions like what’s you coming out story? Etc. Just some questions that I knew usually will get a story out of the person and I’d get to know them a little. She changed the subject to the menu “do you know if they have vodka here?” … it was 11 am and she’s asking about vodka 🤯😳😓 but then the waitress came and she made a comment about how nice it is that I was taking my mom out for brunch… I just smiled and shook my head no and this date of mine was like damn near biting the poor waitress’s face off started getting loud saying the girl was blind or homophobic! Then once the waitress left after apologizing and nearly crying I tried asking some other date stuff like are you an only child? She replied just “no.” And starts playing on her phone. So I start asking, what do you like to do when you’re not at work. She looked up from her phone and gestured to me and the table. As if to signal dating and going out is what she likes. So finally the food gets to the table and at this point I’m thinking ok maybe it’s nerves she’s gonna loosen up now that the foods here. We start eating, she got some omelette thing and I got blackberry pancakes. So I ask her how her food is and she just nods yes and gives me a thumbs up while looking at the food and taking a bite and scrolling on her phone. ON “HER” THE APP WE MET THROUGH! At that point I’m done and just trying to eat and get out so I stop asking stuff and start to eat the pancakes. BUT THEN some random friend of hers showed up lookin like the face of meth asking her for money! After that I excused myself to the restroom apologized and tipped the waitress and asked her to bring the check as soon as we finish eating and rush us out the door. She happily agrees and tells me she’s sorry this dates bad and I smile and continue on to the restroom. I’m on my way back to the table and the guy who came asking for money is sitting in my spot across from my date EATING OUT OF MY PLATE! Date sees me coming around and tells the guy to move further into the booth to basically sit next to me and that’s when I said fuck it. I grabbed my purse which I had left there (I took my wallet to tip the waitress) and she made a comment like “he didn’t touch any of your food or stuff”. I looked her in the eyes told her the date was now over for me and I tossed a $20 on the table and left. It was sooooo bad you guys!!!

[bxcktovampyrs]

DIARY ENTRY 2

Oh my god I had the worst night ever but it was like not that bad? I sound so overdramatic and weird right now, I’m super drunk.

But, I met this dude at a music festival the other day and he’s like mid attractive but hella confident so he’s sexy yk and anyway I met him only bc I saw this rly hot girl at the festival and I went and asked for her number cuz she had such amazing vibes and then she introduced me to the people she was hanging out w and he happened to be one of them.

We hung out for like an hour (we being the group) and then I left and he and i did exchange info but it wasn’t in a flirty way, or I didn’t think it was? I didn’t get those vibes at least, and I made it clear I was interested in the girl.

Well anyway today he messaged me asking how my day was going and i was like yeah it’s fine haha and we texted a little and then he was like I totally wanna do a movie night w you sometime. And i was like um oh ok haha …. idk im pretty busy and then he was like well are you free tn? and i idk i was like yeah i am, lol and he was like ok i can get some pizza and we can watch a movie.

so anyway ig my survival skills finally decided to slowly kick in in the worst way possible and i was like yeah sure! but lemme bring my best friend. (wow genius, what the fuck is she gonna do she’s barely 100lbs soaking wet) but hey idk it made me feel better she was there. so i brought her and we went to his house. and ate pizza n watched the minions and drank wine.

sounds great right??? NOPE! the way this man wouldn’t stop hitting on me OPENLY. like it was so bad. he was like wow you have such sexy legs. and i was like um ok thx. and he kept bringing up sexual topics and making sex jokes which was so weird and they were so directed. he was at one point like, the hottest women are tall women. (i’m 6’) and i was like oh ok haha. and he was like idk it’s not a dommy mommy thing for me, i just love the challenge of getting a tall woman. WHO SAYS THAT WHAT

and he later straight up was like wow you’re so snatched, sorry i can’t look at you i’ll get a boner. HE WASNT JOKING

he wasn’t joking

he like hid his dick for the next four minutes

it was rly awkward

i’m gonna kill myself that was horrible

he drove us home and then after he dropped us off he like lingered before leaving which was so weird and then he texted me this weird text about how he’s super attracted to both of us and sorry if he made us uncomfy. and then he told me wanted to give me head.

like

said that

to me

what

the

fuck

ok diary, i’m gonna go jump off a bridge bye

[gvaine]

MERLIN REWATCH ✦ 1.02 Valiant

[screwpinecaprice]

I already really like these two, but after The Return of The Pumpkin Rabbit, I have been smitten. (⁠人⁠*⁠´⁠∀⁠｀⁠)⁠｡⁠*♡

[minced-mangoes]

Okay, I know there's other headcanons for why Lucifer's bed is so big (so his brothers can sleep in his room too, so his wings fit, etc) BUUUTT... I like to think it's big so he can hobble into his room half asleep at night and face place right into it. He sleeps on his belly with his limbs sticking out like a starfish.

If you try to got to bed with him be prepared to tuck yourself under his arm or his wings because he takes up the whole ass bed.

Horrible doodle of it.

[alfheimr]

i drew this way over a year ago but i think i just forgot to post it here. ingo adventure dx

[dragonpyre]

Here have a snippit for a fic I'll never write

"Jeez, what crawled up his ass and died?” Jason asked, watching as Bruce stalked out of the room. The silence that met him though made him turn to look up. “It’s April 27th,” Dick rasped. Like that somehow explained everything. “And? What, did I miss Passover or something?” Next to him, Tim flinched. Dick however… his eyes grew moist and his face fell. Before Jason could even think to ask what was wrong, the man had turned around and escaped the room. He looked about to cry. “Okay, what the hell?” Jason voiced. Because seriously, what the hell? “Jason,” Tim piped up carefully. “You died today.”

[nightlocked-in]

“peeta is bisexual” you guys are losing the vision. peeta isn’t even straight. katniss INVENTED sexuality for him. whatever katniss identifies as, he’s like “yeah, i’ll take that one” no questions asked

[lyrichi]

[mc is sitting w belphie and satan; anti-lucifer league shenanigans] [[belphie is asleep lol]]

mc sees luci: omg is that lucifer

satan looks up: tch- yeah.

mc pulls out a straw from nowhere:

satan: what are you doing

[mc puts the straw up to their mouth and shoots the gum in their mouth at lucifer, it lands in his hair]

[mc slowly looks over at satan and they make eye contact]

mc: bullseye

[tennessoui]

I don’t even need to say it do I……

[heynhay]

let's drive out

[still-a-morosexual-help]

Obey me is so funny because it's about found family and it's about different found families and it's like

Here's Simeon and his beautiful, caring son who bakes with him and patiently teaches him how to use a mobile phone and comes up with fun, innocent activities they can do together

Here's Barbatos and his beautiful, caring son who wants to play a prank on him so they can bond but doesn't want to distress Barbatos so instead he gives him tea in the morning and asks interesting questions from him

And then pan over to Lucifer whose clothes are crumpled and also a little on fire, whose hair is greying and sticking up, whose hunched over, barely standing up straight, and who hasn't had a moment's rest in years, who is desperately clutching on to a bottle of alcohol in one hand and a smoking cigarette in the other, who has the overall demeanor and appearance of someone who has been consecutively run over by several trucks - not really upset but more resigned to his (eternal) fate, while his horrible, terrible gaggle of gremlin children run rampant in the background

[cowboah-baby]

this saga sure is shitty

hospital bed and wheelchair pose references from kibbitzer

[ghostryders]

[magical-girl-coral]

Okay, but if Sandra Lynn was in a toxic, manipulative, god awful relationship with Bobby Dawn while he was already married (possibly with kid) and with way more years of experience over her when she was barely eighteen, imagine her horror when she found out Fig had a thing for older men in a position of power. I would suffer a fucking stroke.

[oflights]

i know in retellings draco always befriends hermione because he's a nerd or whatever but this morning i was thinking of a retelling where draco befriends ron because he literally just bribes him. like he sees that harry won't bother with him and lbr no one wanted to be friends with first year hermione but ron seems like he'd be easily bought and draco's dad told him those are the easiest people to get on your side. and also wouldn't it be fun to steal away harry potter's anointed best friend?

so he's like "i'm willing to forget you laughed at my name on the train" and literally just buys ron things until he stops being indignant. he buys him a new wardrobe. endless sweets and toys. he writes to his mother like "hello i'm working on something here can u help" and narcissa is immediately on board.

and ron totally is easily bought. he really is. he pretends to still hate draco but also his mother taught him some manners so it's only polite to accept the little git's gifts. his siblings are sick with jealousy, it's great.

and slowly ron's like "maybe he's not so bad" and progresses to "yes he's weird but i've gotten him to stop with the slurs so" to actual friendship that harry and hermione eventually come around to, too.